A Mom's Musings

This Christmas

 I am pregnant.  I find myself sitting and waiting to feel her move so often.  It's just what I do. I want to feel her.  I know a big part of it is the reassurance that she is doing ok, but it's also the reality of the life I carry.  Sometime in the next month and 1/2 we will met this new little life and we can hardly wait.  So many emotions stir up within me.  I pray for her safety and health now, but also for her future.  As I pray for Zachary's future, I already pray for our little girl's.  I don't know what is in store for them, but my heart lifts them up daily.  They are a part of me now and will be forever.  

Today I was reading about Mary and Elizabeth in my Advent Devotional.  I couldn't help but wonder what they talked about and prayed about when Mary went to visit Elizabeth.  I imagine they sang and wept and prayed together, in praise and thankfulness for the little lives growing inside of them.  They carried children that were a part of a great prophecy.  The Angel told them so, but did they really understand?  I imagine they did not fully know the paths their children would walk; the passion, love and suffering they would endure.  But I imagine they anticipated their arrivals with such joy as mothers do.

As I sit here today in the quiet, detecting even the slightest movement, I am in wonder.  How beautiful is life.  How precious is birth.  How miraculous is a baby.  As I anticipate the birth of my daughter, I sing, weep and pray for her future, knowing with certainty that she is being held in the hands of Christ now and forever.  And I sit in awe of the birth of a little baby thousands of years ago that was born as our salvation.  

"Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away our sin. Behold the Lamb of God, the light and life of men.  Behold the Lamb of God, who died and rose again.  Behold the Lamb of God who comes to take away our sin." - Andrew Peterson

May you feel the movement of the Christ Child in your life this Christmas, the wonder, majesty and beauty of life and salvation.

Jesus, Name of Wondrous Love

Jesus! Name of wondrous love!
Name all other names above!
Unto which must every knee
Bow in deep humility.

Jesus! Name of priceless worth
To the fallen sons of earth,
For the promise that it gave—
“Jesus shall His people save.”

Jesus! Name decreed of old,
To the maiden mother told—
Kneeling in her lowly cell—
By the angel Gabriel.

Jesus! Name of mercy mild,
Given to the holy Child,
When the cup of human woe
First He tasted here below.

Jesus! Only name that’s given
Under all the mighty heaven,
Whereby man, to sin enslaved,
Bursts his fetters, and is saved.

Jesus! Name of wondrous love,
Human name of God above!
Pleading only this, we flee,
Helpless, O our God, to Thee.

 - words by William W. How

This was the prayer from my Advent Devotion today.  So beautiful, I just had to share!

Just the Beginning

I started a new book this week.  It's a devotional for Advent written by Walter Wangerin Jr. (Who I think is an amazing author!).  The book is called "Preparing for Jesus."  Interestingly enough, I end up reading this particular book every year during Advent, it's just that good.  And every year it speaks to me in different ways.  This year I was struck by the introduction itself.  Wangerin reminds us that this season of Advent and Christmas is really just the beginning.  This is a journey that carries us through many many months.  Wangerin breaks this journey into 5 Acts: Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent and Easter (through Pentecost).

He explains, " For the church past has bequeathed to the church present a grand theatric - a drama, as it were - which takes six months to enact, December into May.  There is no audience.  All are actors.  And this play, rather than representing something different from itself, actually contains and communicates the truth, for its protagonist is the Lord Jesus, and the Lord is always present in his Word - and the Lord is truth."

So the journey begins once again as we wait and prepare with anticipation the celebration of the birth of Jesus, but the journey does not end there.  We watch, observe, experience who this Jesus is though his teachings, miracles and relationships.  We walk with him and experience his struggle, his betrayal and the magnificent triumph over death and evil.  "And with the Holy Spirit at Pentecost comes down as well a responsibility upon the whole Church: to continue the work of Jesus upon the earth.  Therefore, the following six month (June - November) pay attention to what we, the followers of Jesus, must be, and what we must do , and how our lives must develop even through death to life again."

I pray that as I return to this journey during this season of my life, that I will remember, be renewed and be challenged in my faith.  I enter this journey through Advent to Christmas with excitement and anticipation, not just to celebrate the birth of our Savior, but to listen and discover all that the Lord wants to teach me in the coming year.  Come, Lord Jesus.  Teach me, challenge me, renew me and remind me.  Come, Lord Jesus.  Amen.

Healing

"A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  John 14:34-35 

My previous post was about God's unconditional love for us.  If I truly believe in that unconditional love, how do I respond to this commandment?  Am I brave enough and strong enough to love others as Christ loves me?   Brennan Manning  puts it this way; "Jesus said you are to love one another as I have loved you, a love that will probably lead to the bloody, anguished gift of yourself; a love that forgives seventy times seven, that keeps no score of wrongdoing.  Jesus said this, this love, is the one criterion, the sole norm, the standard of discipleship in the New Israel of God.  He said you're going to be identified as His disciples, not because of your church-going, Bible-toting, or song-singing.  No, you'll be identified as His by one sign only: the deep and delicate respect for one another, the cordial love impregnated with reverence for the sacred dimension of the human personality because of the mysterious substitution of Christ for the Christian." WOW.  Yes, I read that a few times over, so feel free to do the same.  What did it do to me?  Hit me hard right in the heart of all things.  If I am living my life as a follower of Jesus, believing that I am saved by the Grace of the cross and loved unconditionally, then how can I live my life ignoring the command that Jesus gave to us?  I can't.  But it is more than just obeying a command given to me by my Lord. It is a deep desire to share a love that brings healing and hope to my heart and soul in the hope that it will bring healing and hope to others.

Brennan Manning continues, "Healing becomes the opportunity to pass to another human being what I have received from the Lord Jesus; namely His unconditional acceptance of me as I am, not as I should be. He loves me whether in a state of grace or disgrace, whether I live up to the lofty expectations of His gospel or I don't. He comes to me where I live and loves me as I am.  When I have passed that same reality on to another human being, the result most often has been the inner healing of their heart through the touch of my affirmation.  To affirm a person is to see the good in them that they cannot see in themselves and to repeat it in spite of appearances to the contrary." The idea that my touch, my words, my actions towards another person can bring healing to their heart and soul through the unconditional love I experience in Jesus, how can I not desire to obey that command?   For it is through the unconditional love of Christ that I live in this world with joy and hope.  It is what I desire for others to know as well. 

So, I will ask the question again; Am I brave enough and strong enough to love others as Christ loves me?  To love others no matter the circumstances or conditions?  The truth?  No.  I can not on my own.  Praise the Lord that I do not have to.  In my human condition, I will fall, but I can seek forgiveness and stand again in the love of Jesus.  Because He does that for me, I must do that also for others no matter how difficult and challenging that may be.  

"The question is not can we heal?  The question, the only question is will we let the healing power of the risen Jesus flow through us to reach and touch others, so that they may dream and fight and bear and run where the brave dare not go?" - Brennan Manning

Unconditional Love

What does the word "unconditional" bring to mind for you?   It's a hard word for me to wrap my brain around sometimes.  I looked up the word "condition" and the very first meaning said, "The state of something in regards to its appearance, quality or working order".  The word "unconditional" is defined as something not subject to any conditions.  During my morning time today I was reading from Brennan Manning about unconditional love.  Does the idea of God's unconditional love for us come easy to you?  Sometimes I think Brennan is right when he says that this familiar phrase has become a cliche.   Today as I let this phrase sink into my heart, I am overwhelmed by it.  If I truly believe that the Lord loves me unconditionally, then I believe that His love does not depend upon my appearance, quality or working order.  That is hard to wrap around especially when we experience such conditions in every day life.  Don't we try to look good to gain respect and love?  Don't we feel that our respect and admiration comes from being successful in our work?  To really believe in God's unconditional love, we must believe that we are loved no matter our habits, faults, failures, addictions and brokenness.  Oh PRAISE GOD!   Every day I fail.  Every day I make mistakes, but He loves me still.  And on the cross, He gave His only Son so that we may be given the gift of Grace!  It is given freely.  We are loved and forgiven!  I walk through today with the words of Manning echoing in my head; "The wild, unrestricted love of God is not simply an inspiring idea.  When it imposes itself on mind and heart with the stark reality of ontological truth, it determines why and at what time you get up in the morning, how you pass your evenings, how you spend your weekend, what you read, and who you hang with; it affects what breaks your heart, what amazes you, and what makes your heart happy."  May the unconditional love of God, Jesus and the Spirit affect you deeply today!  

Thankful

The rain is coming down quite aggressively this afternoon.  As I sit here and watch it, my soul is refreshed.  The rain is just doing something to my heart today.  It hasn't made me lazy or sad.  It has made me thankful.  Thankful for the way God cares for His creation.  Thankful that I am His creation.  Thankful that He loved me so much that He sent Jesus, my hope and my salvation.  There is no greater gift and yet my life is filled with gifts.  Three of those I cherish with all my heart; my husband, my son and my daughter.  Tis the month to be Thankful!   Thankful for all we have and all we have been given.  I pray that this season, as it rushes in, will fill your heart with thanksgiving.   For you are God's creation and His love for you is beyond measure.  "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing!"  Zephaniah 3:17

Up

I am reading a few different books, believe it or not.  I usually have to stick to one to keep sane, but lately I have been hungry to reconnect with my God, and more than one book has entered my life.  At Graceway Church we are working through LifeShapes as found in A Passionate Life by Breen and Kallestad.  Today I have been digging into the Triangle, specifically the UP portion of the Triangle. It was just what I believe God wanted me to hear today.  As I continue to work on balance in my life as a mom, wife, pastor's wife, homemaker, child of God, friend, daughter, sister...etc... The Triangle has convicted my heart that I will not find balance if I do not nurture my UP relationship with my God.  In any relationship, to grow deeper we must do more than just talk about life, we must walk life together.  Spending time together with a friend, spouse and/or your children draws you into a deeper relationship, naturally.  You are spending time together.  Relationships that are spent just talking, are one dimensional.  I can see how close relationships in my life have changed by living in different states. It's just how it is. So how can I believe that my relationship with the Lord is going to deepen by just talking to him?  I need to walk with him.  Invite him into every aspect of my day; as I play with my son, as I prepare lunch, as I walk out to get the mail...every aspect.  It's hard to remember that all the time, but practicing it will make it habit.  And I know in my heart that I need Jesus in my life, my every day life.  I need to always look up and let the Light of Life fill me up.  Lord Jesus, help me to walk the walk.  Amen.

Seeds for the Young

Brian and I discovered the Seeds CDs a few years ago before we had Zachary.  We knew immediately that we wanted to share them with our children one day.  Zachary actually goes to sleep listening to the SEEDS OF PRAISE CD.  It's fun to hear him singing some of the phrases from the songs.   All the songs are from Scripture verses and they are fun and catchy tunes.  We even love to listen and sing along.  As a parent who loves the Lord, I want very much to plant seeds of faith in my children.  There is no greater joy than when I hear Zachary pray phrases with us at night, listen to him retell a Bible story we are talking about at church or sing praise songs to God.  It's all I can do; plant seeds and pray that my kids will grow to know that Jesus loves them so much.  Check out SEEDS.  They send out a monthly email with Family Worship ideas.  We met them at the Orange Conference in Atlanta this past year.  Not only do we love their music, we were so touched by their authenticity.  They create this music because they love the Lord too!  

http://www.seedsfamilyworship.net/

furious longing

I've been looking for a new book to read during my quiet times and my wonderful husband handed me this book thinking it might speak to my soul.  It's amazing just how much my husband knows me.  The best description I can make is actually written on the back cover. "Imagine a stormy day at sea, your ship yielding to a relentless wind, pummeled by crashing waves, subject to the awesome force of nature.  A force that is both fierce and majestic.  A power that is nothing short of furious.  Such is God's intense, consuming love for His children.  It's a love that knows no limits and no boundaries. A love that will go to any lengths and take any risks to pursue us."   I have only finished two chapters and my soul has been fed and my mind has been challenged. 
When I looked up furious in the dictionary it gave basically two meanings; full of anger or energy, violent or intense.  It seems easy for some to see God as angry and violent with all that goes on in this world, but Brennan focuses on the energy and intensity of the love of God, using adjectives like passionate, vehement and aching.  He focuses in on the longing God has to redeem and reconcile all His children to Him.  He loves us all that much.  The verse that has deeply spoken to me and lays on my heart these past few days is the one he references is Zephaniah 3:17; "The Lord your God is with you.  He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you.  He will rejoice over you with singing."  Oh praise God!  What if we took a closer, deeper look at the furious longing, unconditional love of God and focused on that rather than the wrath and anger of God towards His people?  Isn't it possible that God weeps every day at what He witnesses and rejoices over His children as they abide in Him and reach out to others?  I know He is mighty, holy, powerful and hates evil, but what greater power there is in love!  I am so thankful I have a loving God who forgives and longs for my heart.  If He was only out to punish me when I make mistakes and sin...well that would be a rough life, and life is rough enough already.

Fall

I love this time of year.  Everything from the weather to the food.  The leaves are beginning to change here.  The air is cool and crisp but the sun has been out in full with amazing blue skies.  Apples and pumpkins are everywhere and I can't wait to make me some pie!  Zachary and I were at the playground the other day and while he was swinging he said, "Mommy, look at the blue sky!"   It really is breathtaking once again today.  Last night Daddy took Zachary outside to see the stars.  They were everywhere.  I know the days get shorter, it gets colder and darker longer, and the rush of the holidays can make our heads spin but there is just something about this season that warms my heart.  I pray that we all may be able to slow down and enjoy this season with our families.  My goal is to get the Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving so I can concentrate on the joy of the season instead of the blur of it.  I pray that for you as well.  Happy Fall everyone!  God bless you!